Driving

If I could go back to my childhood, what thing would I do now that I have missed as an adult?

Driving.  

That's my answer.

Don't get me wrong, I do plenty of driving as an adult who lives in the woods with three kids and a Mr. Sexy.  But it's just not the same as when I was 16.

When I was 16, I enjoyed driving so much!  It was relaxing, enjoyable and a wonderful break from teen-life stuff.

As an adult, driving makes me tense because I worry about the three hearts in the car with me.  I also have learned not to trust the idiocy that is other drivers or the slick roads in the blizzard of winter.

When I was 16, I turned up the radio, rolled the windows down and would cruise.  Wasting gas?  Naw.  I was getting high on life.  That is definitely not a waste.

As an adult, I drive from point A to point B and pay special attention to how quickly I'm pressing into the gas.  I have weird visualizations in my head of extra gas being used when, in fact, it's probably not. There is no more cruising around town for me just so I can feel the wind in my hair.  Plus, my kids don't like the wind in their face.

When I was 16, my car was my safe place.  It gave me a sense of freedom I hadn't known before.  For the first time, if I really wanted to, I could gas that baby up, stuff it with as many belongings as I could fit and drive away without looking back.  Did I ever do that?  No way.  I'm not actually that adventurous.  But the ability and the possibility was exciting.

As an adult, I don't have "my car."  I have a family car full of carseats and leftover snacks and lost toys. In the backseat is Michael who makes all of Denai's noises in full volume.  Then Denai starts to scream because the sun gets in her eyes.  And then Marie, who just sits and enjoys the ride.

When I was 16, I was a chauffeur and I loved my job.  If someone needed a ride I was there.  Not enough seat belts?  No worries.  I would drive extra safe...that was the intention at least.

As an adult, I'm still a chauffeur but it's just not the same as it was when I was 16.  My passengers don't like the same music as me all the time.  My passengers also get cranky and don't bother trying to hide it in order to be friendly and polite.  My passengers are also always the same, for the most part.

So, if I could go back and bring something from my childhood to my adult hood, it would be driving.  The carefree, no worries, no true responsibilities type of driving.