Tuesday, June 17, 2014

I'm Sexy and I Know It

Thank you Rory for such a fun topic!  I love just about any excuse to talk about... well, okay.  I typically save this subject for my girl friends.  But today, it's here at 5 Hearts.

July, 2011

What makes me feel the most confident/attractive/sexy?  Do I think I'm sexy?

This is today's topic.

When I got married I joked with Mr. Sexy that I was in the best shape of my life and he better enjoy it because once pregnancy would hit it would be gone forever.  So far that seems to have been a true statement.  Now, I'm not fat.  But I'm not super thin and fit like I once was.  And in my warped view of what sexy is/looks like: I, apparently, am not sexy.

I tell Mr. Sexy about how when I walk I can feel all my body parts jiggle and my thighs are huge and my arms ripple when I wave.  He laughs and tells me that I'm stupid for worrying about stupid stuff.  He doesn't actually say I'm stupid.  He's much nicer than that.  Silly is a better word.

However, I don't quite believe him until he pulls me in for a passionate kiss and then I can feel just how sexy he thinks I am.

Some days I do feel sexy.  It's largely based on my mood.  Which is highly effected by the weather.  So basically, winter sucks and summer is great.

So between you and me: I don't typically feel all that sexy. I wish that I did.  It's something I am working on because I should feel and know that I am sexy every day.

July, 2011
But wait.  Perhaps sexiness and attractiveness and all that stuff is a bit more than just a feeling?  Perhaps it's knowing that I generally eat appropriately and I'm a fairly active person.  Feelings lie all the time.  Yet I give them a lot of weight in my life.

I grew up looking towards boys to make me feel attractive.  I knew I was hot enough when they wanted to sleep with me.  Those that didn't or didn't seem to try, well, I wasn't good enough for them.  I hope my own daughters don't have to deal with so much pain.

Now, I look to my husband to feel attractive.  Every once in a while I can see that a man walking by might look me up and down and the thought crosses my mind that,  I still got it.  But really, those boys don't matter.  What matters is my attractive husband who daydreams about me at work even though he will be coming home soon.  That's how much he likes me.

In a perfect world I would be content with my imperfect body and completely be confident.  Sadly, it's not a perfect world and I, like many other women, struggle in feeling "good enough" for my husband because of my own comparisons to others.

Do you feel sexy/confident/attractive in your life/marriage? 



11 comments:

  1. I no longer struggle with those feelings But then I am much older than you are (63)! I don't even want to feel sexy an longer. Does that sound terrible. Dealing with a dying husband for the past three years (first a stroke and now the end stage Parkinson's disease) has put all of this into perspective for me. I am the only woman he wants and that is all that matters. You need to listen to your husband and not let those silly notions fog your brain. You look wonderful to me. And that wedding dress is one of the most gorgeous I have ever seen. You are good just the way you are. Jiggling and all :)

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    1. Thanks for the kind words. I know it's a silly and vain thing to worry about. Mainly I just want to feel better which would come from simple excercises every day or something like that. So maybe after we move...

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  2. I don't generally feel sexy on my own. However, I have my own Mr. Sexy and he makes me feel very sexy!

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    1. We probably just need to go shopping or something lol

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  3. Oh, love that you mentioned how feelings lie! it's so true --- those words we hear whisper in our head, that I guess you could say are from the enemy and designed to make us feel bad about ourselves. which causes us to turn from our husbands I suppose. We gotta learn to shut that voice down!!
    And based on those wedding pictures, I don't think you have to worry about anything. They are gorgeous and you look stunning! :)

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    1. Someone once told me: Everything comes from somewhere right? Every thought. Every action. And it can only come from one of two places. Sooo....these feelings and thoughts that are negative are definitely from the dark place! It's an interesting thought to ponder.

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  4. Okay.. the wedding photos you share are simply STUNNING and you're both beautiful! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks for the huge complements! We spared no expense on the photographer lol. Thanks mom and dad!

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  5. I think I struggle with this every day; I've put on 20 pounds since I married my own Mr. Sexy and can't seem to take a pound off. He tries to make me feel better but I catch myself obsessing over how much better I think I looked on our wedding day...feelings lie. I'm going to remind myself of that from now on.

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    1. Feelings totally lie. I think I'm just looking to FEEL better by knowing that I went for a walk or a hike or something like that. But I'm packing to move...that's sort of a work out though?

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  6. Oh my, I am a month late visiting your take on Leslie's prompt - very sorry... Love your answer and explanation. I, too, think that a lot of it comes down to my own mood e.g. when I am working out, am sweaty, I can 'feel' sexy, but then again - not. Weird stuff... LOL

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