Sunday, June 15, 2014

My Dad

My relationship with my dad seems to be almost non-existent at this point.  So when it comes to occasions such as Father's Day, I don't always know how to respond.  However there was a time when it wasn't like this.

There was a time when he could no wrong.

After a short period in the air force my dad found himself in between jobs.  I can understand, now, how difficult that time must have been for him.  But as a young girl, he was my ultimate hero.  I'm told I used to brag to anyone who would listen about my dad's awesome job delivering pizzas AND he always came home with the biggest pizzas I had ever seen.  It was magical to me.

My dad was the strongest person I knew.  He could lift ANYTHING.  And he didn't even work out.  Honestly, he was the equivalent to super man.

However, over time, I began to see things I hadn't seen before.  The one person that I had put on the highest pedestal I could find, was slowly starting to let me down.  It's human nature, after all.  We are imperfect people.  My dad is an imperfect father.  I'm an imperfect daughter.  It's not fair to put each other on such holy ground when Jesus is the only One who can live up to that.  Yet I did it anyways.  I kept him on that pedestal for many, many years while slowly I learned that he was no more than an imperfect human.  Perhaps that is the biggest let down.  Perhaps that is our biggest fault.

Although we have had countless red-faced, loud arguments, he still did some things right.

Once upon a time, I was his baby girl and I could do no wrong.  He called me "Muck-Muck" or "Muckleberry" (or something weird like that) and he melted just at the sight of me.  He taught me to walk and to talk.  He helped me swing and go down the scary slides.  His heart broke with mine as tears streamed down my face because of a skinned knee.  I was his first born and the only daughter he would know.  Perhaps he had put me on a pedestal as well.

I'm hard on the people that I love.  I have many expectations (see my post about this here).  It's a struggle for me to see anything but the failures - even in my private, personal life.  But the fact is that there is so much more than where we all went wrong.

 You see, my dad chose to give me life.  Not only did he give me life, he gave me a life.

 I'm all grown up now with my own family and life is pretty good - even with the ups and downs of moving all the time and broken down cars.  My dad hugged me, played with me and loved me.  He worked to provide a great home where I always had my own bedroom.  There was always food in the house and we even had pets.

All this to say: Happy Father's Day, dad.



11 comments:

  1. This was a beautiful and heartfelt post!

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  2. It's so easy for daughters to put their daddy on a pedestal. Hopefully your relationship with your father will be restored soon.

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    1. And then over time I transferred the pedestal to Mr. Sexy. It's not fair for them, that's for sure.

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  3. Sounds like many of us had imperfect dads......

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  4. I definitely did not put my father on a pedestal. He sure didn't deserve it. But growing up without a father, made me even more aware of the consequences of choosing the wrong mate for life. Especially if we brought children into this world. So instead of being bitter and full of hate towards him, I choose to be grateful for the man I married who IS a great father. And I consider it such a blessing that I broke that chain of family dysfunction.

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    1. Breaking the chain is difficult. But I have seen people do it and it BLOWS MY MIND.

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  5. My Dad has alzhiemer's now so I treasure a lot of memories.

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    1. Well that sure puts things in perspective. It's frustrating how easy it is to take some things for granted. At least, that's where it sits with me. :)

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