What is stronger: Love or Hate

A woman found the blog I was writing last year. She didn't like it. She disliked it so much that she wrote her own post about my blog. Her 3,000 or so followers did not compare to my 46 followers. I read the nasty things this stranger said about me and I'm thankful that I no longer remember the details. She basically said I was an evil person and deserved to die although she used many more colorful words. She also began a sort of witch hunt for me. She gave out as much personal information on me as possible. I quickly became very popular.

This woman who started the chaos did not do her research.  All she saw was something negative and then that's all she could see.  The sidebar on my blog had a list of my post popular posts.  It so happens those posts were mostly about Marie and my struggles with her.  I can see how when you started clicking through those it painted a pretty bad picture.  However there were so many pieces missing!  In fact I had been writing about Marie less and less over time and when I did I often shared fun, positive victories we had.  But sometimes we can only see what we want to see.

All of a sudden blog posts that were a year old were getting nasty comments with links to multiple blogs and websites designed to discuss me and my family. Emails were pouring in to both Mr. Sexy and I.  A few of these nameless bullies asked me to "please consider adoption" for Marie's sake.

The harassment spread to facebook.  Mr. Sexy and I received message after message telling us all kinds of horrible things. Our family members and even some friends were harassed in the same way. They always made sure to include their colorful links.

Many of these messages were threatening to the point where we made a call to the police.  Someone threatened to "rescue" Marie and others threatened to come to my house and - I don't even remember.  I was told that I was being "watched" and that "eyes are always open."  I even gained a new follower who followed my blog secretly (you can do that here I guess) under the name: I'm Watching You.  Needless to say I became a very paranoid woman.

Some of the messages turned kind and I replied.  I then found out that these people were pretending to be nice to get more information out of me and then making fun of me on their sites.  It was pretty crappy but in reality, why wouldn't I have a conversation with someone who is being nice even if it's only a pretense?  I have nothing to hide.  Love, even the pretense of love, can go so much farther than hatred.

I tried to ignore the hatred and continue blogging. But then our local police department and CPS were getting calls about me from strangers across the country.  CPS visited my house with copies of my blog posts that were circulating.  I owned every word I wrote.  They actually told us that the only reason they finally came out to our home was because of the high volume of calls they were getting about me.  Daily.  Isn't that just insane?  

All I could do was hold my head up and be honest at every turn. I have had nothing to hide - which is why I blog. I know for a fact I am not alone in any of my struggles.  Before I walked away from my blog I was receiving emails from parents who were having the same struggles and felt like they finally weren't alone in them.  I also was encouraged daily by my bloggy friends.  The kind and loving words did so much for me.  Love overcomes hate at every turn.  Love that I received from my husband, my friends and my virtual friends were having an impact on my heart and in turn, a positive impact on my relationship with Marie.

I have worked hard to keep this blog separate from my personal life.  My last blog was connected to my personal email, my personal facebook, even instagram.  I never gave out personal information such as my address and phone number but I always used real names.  Obviously, this blog is different and I'm being more careful in that sense.  However I will still use pictures and I will once again pour my heart into the words I write.  Haters may find me again.  And that's okay.  Those who want to hate will always find a way.

What is stronger: Love or hate.  Hate ran me off the internet in fear.  But it was love that sustained my heart.  It's love that helped heal the brokenness.  It's because of love that I am here today.

**If you have concerns about someone relating to any kind of abuse or misconduct please reach out to them personally before taking any other action.  Otherwise your concerns become nothing but hurtful gossip.