U is for Untruths.
Mr. Sexy and I like to always be honest with our kids when they have questions. Michael has many questions all the time. It's exhausting. While I was pregnant we had a lot of conversations about where babies come from. I didn't make up any stories about magic or storks. I gave him truths that he could handle and knew he would press the subject more when he was ready. Later. Much later. Years later.
From some of Michael's stories it seems that his other parents take a different approach to his many questions and concerns:
One night Michael was very concerned about the monster that was eating away his stomach. He said his daddy told him that he has bumps on his tummy from a monster....
yeah...creepy.
It took a while to figure this one out. Michael was peeing his bed regularly at this point and had developed a slight rash. He asked his dad and after that conversation (I don't want to assume here) Michael was believing there was a monster eating his tummy.
Mr. Sexy is amazing with this kind of stuff. It took a while but Mr. Sexy explained the facts to Michael using logic and facts and TRUTHS. Michael isn't afraid of the imaginary monster anymore. He doesn't pee his bed every night either.
Another evening Mr. Sexy and I left the kids in the car while we ran in to grab take out. It was raining and everyone was tired. Makes sense right? While in the restaurant Michael ran in, out of breath.
"You didn't leave the windows cracked! We will suffocate and die!"
Deep breath. Poor Michael. Again, Mr. Sexy very logically explained how they are safe in the car with the windows shut especially for such a short amount of time.
"Do you really think mom and I would leave you guys in the car to die?"
That question sounds insane but it had to be asked for Michael's sake. He was being overrun with fear and thus, not able to trust his parents. Either set, most likely.
I have many more stories like these I just told.
I definitely believe in giving real and honest answers to my kids' questions and concerns based on their maturity. I won't get into the gruesome details about child birth or how I got pregnant. But Michael did ask a lot of questions and he got to a point where he didn't need to know anymore. That was okay with everybody. (His stopping point was learning that babies sometimes get cut out of tummies or come out between mommy's legs. It wasn't a graphic conversation. It was very short and concise.)
Are you comfortable with off the wall questions from your kids? Or does it make you break into a nervous sweat?
This is the A-Z blogging challenge so go ahead and read the introduction and see a list of all my A-Z posts.
Wow, your blog is just awesome. Thanks for stopping by mine so I found my way here. Beautiful, so much heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the huge compliment.
DeleteMy grand kids came to live with us during a time that their parents were actively using and selling drugs. I have never lied to them about anything. They ask questions, they get honest answers. I think you are doing a fabulous job with your child. Can't wait for the A to Z challenge to end so I can some back and explore your blog more thoroughly......
ReplyDeleteWow that would be a challenge. I hope the kids are doing well!
DeleteHi. I agree you should tell your children the truth and in the way you are - as simple as it needs to be. The problem becomes when teachers or other significant teachers have no choice but to teach using the lowest common denominator. eg you knew the window up in your instance was fine and not going to be a problem. In Australia though we have a number of child deaths each summer because people who can't think leave their children in a car and in the summer sun kids can die in minutes. Someone had obviously told Michael this and so he was scared. He just happened to have parents who could look at the circumstances and act appropriately. Some parents can't. Thanks for your visit on the A-Z. I love getting around meeting all the participants. Cheers Irene
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about the extreme temperatures issues. So yes, I guess Michael is right in his fear...to a point. He is too young to worry about death and needs to be able to trust us as his parents.
DeleteI'm pretty comfortable with my small people asking strange questions. I will give them strange, off-the-wall answers, but only when they're at a point where they understand that I'm joking. Then we talk about the real answer.
ReplyDeleteI am all for the absolute truth; tailored to their age of understanding and maturity. My eldest at 9 knows how babies are made and where they come from. The just turned 7 and 4 year old know a more sanitized yet still rooted n fact version. (although the 7 year old will probably get a "talk" soon.)
ReplyDeleteMine also know some hard truths about this world because daddy is a cop. They know about danger and crime and... how real and possible death is. Again, to a degree. But it is rather hard to hide all that from them given their father's job and that he leaves home wearing a gun and handcuffs. It's a presence in their lives, but we do try to make it have as very little impact as possible. We pray over daddy while he is gone -- they know God goes with him AND before him.
I bet your dinner table talk is interesting! lol
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